You give and take away

Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to You, I call as my heart grows faint. Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I.  Psalm 61:1-2

There are a few questions that people absolutely love to ask me. 1) How many more years of school do you have left? 2) I’ve had this _____ for a few weeks. What do you think it is, doc? Or my all time favorite 3) Is working in the hospital really like Grey’s Anatomy? Now for those of you reading this who have asked me at least 1 if not all of those questions, I love it. It’s awesome. And hilarious. If I didn’t like helping people and answering questions, I wouldn’t be going to school to be a doctor. That being said, there’s another question I get asked almost as much as those. 4) Why Swaziland? Why do you love it so much? I think this is the most challenging question because I honestly don’t know the answer. Actually, I know the answer and it’s Jesus but that usually doesn’t satisfy whoever is asking me. All I can tell you is that the Lord has placed this supernatural love for this country and these people in my heart that I cannot explain. However, with this deep love comes a lot of heartbreak and pain. Now, when I type that my week has been hard, you can maybe see a little deeper into what I’m actually saying. So with a heavy heart, that feels just as at home here as it does in North Carolina, I write this update.

Wednesday was day 3 for me at the Baylor Clinic here in Mbabane (the capital city of Swaziland.) I worked with 1 of the 8 doctors that are currently here. Clinic usually runs from about 8-2ish and then from 2-4:30 we work upstairs in the offices. If sick or complicated patients come in during the late afternoon, one of the doctors will go back down to see them. Wednesday afternoon, an extremely malnourished baby came into the clinic. She had recently been hospitalized and was discharged at the request of the gogo (grandmother). Unfortunately, gogo was also responsible for a 13-month-old at home and needed to get back to take care of him. Here in Swaziland, a caregiver has to remain at the hospital with the child to feed, medicate, change, etc. So if gogo couldn’t be at the hospital, neither could the baby. We also discovered that gogo had been refusing the specialized formula at the hospital because she was afraid it would give the baby worse diarrhea. When we saw the 2 month old little girl on Wednesday, she had not had any formula in >36hrs and had a clear diagnosis of kwashiorkor (for the medical people). Gogo refused admission once again because of her responsibilities at the homestead. We ended up going to the homestead so gogo could find a place for the other child to stay while she was at the hospital with the baby. Then, we took gogo and baby to the hospital. I hope they are still there, but I am not sure. The baby will not make it without the specialized feeding regimen that she can only receive at the hospital. Please pray for this family. The social situation is significantly worse than what I have included here. Gogo is stretched, mom is not in the picture, and this baby is suffering the consequences.

Thursday, I went to the hospital in Manzini called RFM to do rounds in the pediatric wards with one of the Baylor doctors and a Swazi “medical officer.” This is a Swazi “doctor” who has completed medical school only and is now essentially practicing as an attending physician in the hospital. I saw some very, very sick babies and children, most of which would’ve been in the pediatric ICU in the states. Instead, they are all in one big room with their caregiver(s) crammed in a small space next to them and beside the caregiver for the next patient. Forget about HIPAA or OCSEA or any acronym that could be flying through your brain. Right when we started rounding, a new baby was admitted to the floor. The patient was a 13-month-old little boy who had been suffering from severe diarrhea for the past 2 weeks. He was extremely dehydrated and in obvious hypovolemic shock. We quickly discovered the IV he had would not allow us to push fluids like we needed to. This is one of the stories I will gladly share in person when I get back or you can email me and I will tell you more but the general idea is that it took >90 min to get a line in this child. He was so dehydrated that it was impossible to put another peripheral IV and there were multiple attempts made at placing a line in his external jugular (which is fairly common here). Eventually, a physician from the ICU came over to our ward and put a femoral line in this child (an IV in his leg/groin). He was so sick, he was no longer responding to the pain of the needle sticks required for placing the line. When we left several hours later, mom was holding him and he was a little more alert. This little boy is just one example of how sick some of these children were.

Fridays at the clinic are a lot slower in regards to seeing patients. There is a lot of administrative meetings and education that takes place during these days. Like all things in Swaziland, we also close early (around 2:30). Sometime around lunch yesterday, we got a text from the Swazi doctor we worked with at RFM to tell us that our little boy with the severe dehydration did not make it through the night.  I keep thinking about standing beside his crib holding his little hands and consoling him while he received needle stick after needle stick in an attempt to place a line. I really don’t have words or explanations for you. All I can tell you is this child died from diarrhea. Here, it happens all the time. I can’t even tell you how many children I saw on Thursday who were there for similar things. It’s so hard for so many reasons. My heart aches. Please pray for this sweet mom who lost her baby. As I am typing this, I am reminded of words from the book of Job (2:21): “…The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the Name of the Lord be praised.”

Needless to say, yesterday afternoon was difficult....lots of things running through my head. I was extremely thankful that it had been previously arranged for me to join Daran, Teresa, and Joelle Rehmeyer for dinner last night. I spent time with Teresa and some of her friends after I got off work and then Teresa and I joined the rest of her family for dinner. Simply by the fact this had been planned days ago, I was reminded of the Lord’s provision and how He knows what we need long before we do. I am also hoping to join them for church tomorrow. Today, I am mostly doing things around the house like laundry. It’s not supposed to rain today so I figured the whole drying/hanging things on the line concept would work better with the sun vs rain. I am also working on a presentation on asthma that I am giving to local school nurses on Friday. I haven’t had internet here in >24hrs so making this presentation could be interesting. However, if you are reading this I must have found internet somewhere.

Thanks for praying with and for me. These are just a few stories from the hundreds I have seen this week. It’s hard and most days I feel pretty helpless. However, I am incredibly thankful for the Hope that I have been given and can therefore share with the Swazi people. I am also praying for opportunities to encourage these physicians who have been doing this for years and will continue to do so long after I leave. I am thankful for the time I have here to learn and grow.  I am also looking forward to potentially spending time with some of my Swazi friends over the next week, meeting my new roommate/the resident who is coming on Tuesday, and seeing what the Lord is going to teach me this weekend.

Psalm 130

Hunter

So much I don’t understand

In the middle of this circumstance

But I know my life is in Your hands

Tonight I’m gonna fix my eyes

On the only Hope that satisfies my heart

You are the One I’m running to

Everything that’s good and right and true

Jesus, I’m coming after who You are

You are the One I’m running to
-7eventh Time Down